Some people waste time on Facebook. I do it on Urban Dictionary. This web-based compendium of contemporary slang is pretty hilarious. This morning before work, I spent a few minutes trolling the site for food-related definitions. Here are a few I found:
Dish envy: Sudden, intense longing and regret derived from watching a particularly appetizing dish being delivered to a nearby table, and realizing that one has made an inferior menu selection.
Hank was eagerly anticipating his scallops when the waiter brought the stuffed pork chops to the man at the table next to him. Unable to avert his gaze, Hank began to feel the anguish of dish envy.
Prefill: When, in cases of extreme thirst, a person using a soft-drink fountain fills the beverage container, chugs it, and then fills it again before sitting down to eat.
Person 1: Hey, man, why did it take you so long to get a soda?
Person 2: I was prefilling my cup; I’ve been thirsty all day.
Find cuisine: To create a fine meal using random items around the kitchen.
Stephanie: What you cooking there?
Nadine: Some randomness with pasta. Kind of like a pasta stew. But messier.
Stephanie: I love your find cuisine, Nadine.
Bachelor wash: A quick soap-free rinse of a plate, cup or utensil that had recently been used.
After a quick bachelor wash, the drinking glass went back in the cupboard.
Running latte: Showing up late to work because you stopped for coffee along the way.
I told them I got stuck in traffic, but really I was running latte.
Food douche: A person who thinks they know the best place to get any one specific item of food and that the places you know all suck.
Jason: I love this turkey sandwich.
Joey: This sandwich sucks. I know a place with the best turkey sandwich I have ever had.
Jason: You are such a food douche.